feel the vlove

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

A New Perspective - vlog week 4of7

out in the open -

Read comments for the continuing story

vlogger week 2005 submission 4of7


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, my only comment is: you never told me before last weekend that you have a full-time relationship with your art (with which art you cannot have sex unfortunately...why don´t you look just for sexual relationships btw???)...so it was not honest from your part, to not tell me that you are so involved with your art....and actually when i met you, you weren´t, you gave me a lot from your time!!! Why you didn´t tell me about the relation with your art?This was not part of the deal! Well it is your choice what you are doing with your life. I hope that you are making the right choice.I doubt it...but then it is your problem not mine. And yes,now i feel that i have done the right thing ending this relationship... You know why i have done it?Not because you were going to be so busy, this i could understand...but because you wanted this relationship completely in your own terms...you didn´t suspend your vblogging or how is called not even to spend one full day with me.Your art could have waited one day, or one weekend...if you would have been willing to give me a part from your time (the time when i was visiting you),i would have stayed with you...but you were willing to give too little time...and too little love...in fact no love at all...you didn´t love me and this says all. Good luck with your vblog, P

March 30, 2005 10:38 AM  
Blogger joel said...


It's not that I'm not hurt at all by you breaking things off with me. You're right that I didn't tell you about my art and my relationship with it when we first were getting to know each other. You met me when I was transitioning out of one type of art and not knowing where my art would take me next. Because of that I had a lot of time. Once my camera arrived I started learing about it... And then I learned about video blogging. All of a sudden I am consumed by this. I didn't plan for this to happen. You are a wonderful girl, no doubt, with a wonderful heart and a wonderful way about you. If you and I had more in common with our lives I think it might actually work, but in the end, we don't. In the beginning we shared our loneliness and basked in the pleasure of being with one another. But you are right in your email - that we can't offer each other what we need in the end. I'm sorry if you feel betrayed. I never lied to you about me and relationships... Did i?! I wish that I could say more to console you... I don’t like thinking that I have hurt you. As for putting your message online - well.. This is my journal. I've spent a lot of my life as an introvert and now it's time for a change. I will move these messages in the comments section in a couple of days.

March 30, 2005 10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again,I left this relationship because you do not love me.When you love someone you are willing to make sacrifices.I was not expecting to sacrifice your art and to place me on the first place in your life.
I wanted just the time when i was visiting you. IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN WILLING TO GIVE JUST THIS, IT WOULD HAVE WORKED.I would have known that you are willing to make a sacrifice. I wanted a place in your life.
When you told me that you are not sure if you want to see me again,i felt really sick in my heart.I knew that you do not love me and i can do nothing about it.
I just wanted out as quick as possible...I KNEW THAT IN SHORT TIME YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT ME. I can understand what you wrote me in your email...i
am not upset on you...i try to understand your situation... but as you can imagine i am hurt and i am grieving right now.I know that you didn´t want to hurt me...
The pain will pass with time...about you: i feel that when it comes to women you are in the quest for the perfect woman and for a ready-made relationship, like
a lot of other men.(No offence please). These things do not exist. Instead of looking for the perfect partener, learn to love perfectly, someone have said.
Art cannot replace everything, Joel.You are still human.Do not lie to yourself. P
P.S: i am going to the lab soon...thanks God, i have a lot of work to do.

March 30, 2005 11:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Joel, you are not alone! You have a blossoming relationship with the internets! Well, no you can't have sex with it but.. maybe you could come up with some kinda deal where your art lets you go out on weekends, or something. My art knows that while it's always going to be numero uno, we are in an open relationship, and that's never going to change. I mean at least art understands that you have needs which it can't fulfill, and art will never break up with you! shit, we're only halfway through honesty/vlogging week?

March 31, 2005 2:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say about this. It is disturbing. I know what it is like to love something you do more than someone you love. It's a strange, strange feeling. All I can say is that when all was said and done, I regretted not loving her more. She's gone now, dead, and I'll never have another chance at her love.

This is just my own experience. It may or may not apply to you. Or, if you're like me, it might apply to you but you won't care anyway because you have to make your own mistakes. I hope everything works out for you. Long live Videoblogging Week 2005. It's opened my eyes to so many great people.

March 31, 2005 10:16 AM  
Blogger Jay Dedman said...

pretty deep conversation going on in these comments.
is it for real?
like your video style by the way.

April 07, 2005 7:00 AM  
Blogger joel said...

yes... these are real. i stopped placing the continuing email's/communication between P and I. first she requested me to, then she changed her mind, then she thought i had lied to her about something and threatened me physically and with lawyers. P and I will try to be friends, but I told her we need a break from each other for a while. perhaps she will allow me to post those eventually... P... I know you read this... will you comment? As for Adam's comments... hang in there buddy... I'm sure the vlogging community is here for you... don't be afraid to email me if you ever need to chat. I should point out that this was the end of a relationship that started out on the net in january and "feet meet" was our third weekend meeting.

April 07, 2005 9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well,i will comment when i will have a better perspective on what happened...till that time imagine that i smile like Mona Lisa.:).

April 08, 2005 2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is my perspective:

Nowadays everything is regarded as consumable and replaceable.
We keep consuming everything we can get, to fill our inner emptiness and to forget our fears.
Discard after using it, applies not only to objects but to relationships and people as well.
Yet at the end of the day we are not really fulfilled.
So we keep consuming…and consuming…and consuming…and consuming…enjoy it!

April 11, 2005 8:37 AM  
Blogger ryanne said...

ah the honesty.
i crave it.
good good.
artists are so honest it hurts sometimes.

May 05, 2005 6:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


June 16, 2005 8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You wasn't honestly to P joel. I think you only would have sex with her to forget another women. After you did that P wasn't Interessig for you

October 19, 2005 11:19 AM  

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